How To Make People Like You More in 7 Simple Steps...And Still Be Yourself
Coming from a family of 7 where being liked meant the difference between a great night or tantrums and tears, Kara Towner, the Director of Silver Lining, has been honing her ‘Social Likeability’ & networking skills for over 30 years. While being in the corporate world for over 10 years these 7 simple steps have helped Kara to climb the corporate ladder to be earning a 6 figure income by the age of 30. Kara is now travelling the world testing her new 'Life By Design' strategies.
These steps will help you as they have helped Kara in everything from getting the staff of Puff Daddy’s 40 Million Euro super yacht to work on her friends boat for free! To getting discounts on cars, clothes and chocolates! And after reading this article you will be able to use these steps to create enjoyable, win win situations and know how to make people like you more...and how to like yourself more too. Enjoy!
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Be Yourself. You are who you are. This article is not suggesting you change. That’s why my motto is “Be Yourself to Free Yourself”! Enhance your natural qualities to open up the possibilities for you when meeting with someone. If you are meeting someone for the first time, be happy to meet them - smile and be attentive to what they are saying. Be genuine, be real, be yourself. If you’re the type of person who can’t find anything to smile about then maybe there are some underlying factors that you could work on through personal development. There are lots of tips in my book ‘Your Mind, Your Choice, Your Life”. You can make your own choice about the rest of your life. Book a free Discovery Session with me here.
Remember Their Name. This sounds simple but scientists have proven that the short term memory is like a leaky thermos and can only hold small amount of information. Most information leaks out all over the place if it is not deemed to be important enough to commit to memory. So you’re going to need a plan. One simple technique is the 3 x method. When meeting someone for the first time, use their name 3 times in the following moments - it may feel weird at first but practice makes perfect. “Hi Jane nice to meet you. So Jane what brings you here? Oh yes I met Brian on FB also - Jane are you on FB as often as me or am I the only one who’s addicted! Ha ha ha”, you get the drift. At the end of the day if you do forget someone's name, it’s better to fess up rather than calling them “hey you” for the rest of the evening. People can tell if you’ve forgotten anyway so don’t be a douche and pretend you’ve got it covered. Remember step #1! - WHAT TO DO TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL RESPECTED -
Use Eye Contact. I am astounded by how many people don’t do this. There’s nothing worse than talking to someone who is looking everywhere except at you. (except for step #5 that is worse IMHO...geek speak for In My Honest Opinion) Making eye contact is one of the simplest ways to create an affinity by letting someone know you care enough to look at them. It also speaks volumes about yourself if you are not able to make eye contact. It is simple - I didn’t say it was easy - not for everyone. If self confidence is something that you struggle with then making eye contact may be difficult at first, but with practice it will become natural and you will even learn to enjoy it. Yes I promise! On the other hand, don’t stare them down like you’re gonna eat them either. For those of you who like Transfiguration (me included) remember there is a time and a place for everything.
Ask Questions About Them. As per step #3, this step is about showing you care. Sometimes the best listeners are the people whom we remember, and grow to like the most. Beware however, if you are usually a wallflower who likes to only listen, that isn't going to work. What I mean here is being a good listener by asking good questions, using eye contact, remembering their name and so on. Once again, practice is your friend. Click here to get more information about communication & confidence for free.
Let Them Finish Their Sentences. Owwwwwwwwww yes, very important. If someone is engaging with you enough to be having a conversation with you then please simply let them finish their sentences. Sound simple...not for some. Give it a go. How does it feel when someone cuts you off? Enough said.
Let them know you enjoyed meeting them. When you have enjoyed meeting someone and you wish to catch up again, just say so! Life’s too short to be concerned about rejection or about seeming too forward. Take the opportunity while you can. Of course if you didn’t enjoy meeting them and you don’t care to meet them again then a simply good bye in a friendly tone should suffice. - WHAT TO DO TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE DONT RUN A MILE -
Don’t be a whinger. A whinger is Australian slang for a person who complains a lot. No explanation really needed here but I will say one thing. Most whingers don’t realise they are the whinger. So I ask you to ask yourself… “Am I the whinger?” If you are then take 3 seconds before you go to whinge next time and ask yourself “Does this add to the situation or will I be unnecessarily making things worse for those around me?”. If you are cold rather than saying I’m cold, look at the solution and ask if someone has a jumper or blanket, then bring extra next time. If you are hungry rather than saying “I’m Starving” all the time, perhaps plan your day better or carry some snacks with you. To have an opinion on something is one thing, to complain about things and never find a solution is another. If you are the whinger, maybe that’s why this article appealed to you, because you have stopped getting invited places or can feel people do not warm to you. If this sounds like you, and you’re READY to do something about it, click here to get some free stuff to help you along your way. - YOU GOTTA TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF - 2 bonus steps!
Dude...your breath smells like tuna! Most of you have this one covered but I'm putting it in for those that haven't quite got there yet...yes there are still a few men AND women. Personal hygiene 101, brush your teeth and wash your armpits. If you just had a coffee or a cigarette have a mint. This means that if you are having a conversation with someone they don’t have to instantly ‘go to the bathroom’ because they keep dry retching every time they get within a foot of you. It’s a simple step that if forgotten can lead you to missing out on some really great conversations and hey even your next business opportunity or hot date!
Love Yourself. This is so so so important. Mentally, Emotionally, Physically. Everything starts with self. Do you like yourself? Do you love yourself? If you had a friend that treated you the way you treat yourself, would you be friends with you? Be your own best friend. This may seem like a foreign concept but it is so important. Self Nurture is something so important and that's why it's the first topic I work on with many of my clients. To find out more about this and how you can love yourself more book free discovery session where we will discuss your specific goals and desires.
- IS THIS ALL I KNOW -
Obviously I can’t tell you everything I know about ‘Social Likeability’ & networking in this article, not to mention lifestyle design! What I know could take up several books! These steps work for most people. But, not all. I have developed a separate and specialized body of knowledge on what makes for success in social & life situations plus life freedom and 'Life By Design' methodologies. This special information is revealed only to the clients of Silver Lining Coaching. If you would like to find out more for FREE, then click here and get some useful skills to get you one step closer.
If you would like to get in contact with me simply do so through karatowner.com or email silverliningtalent@gmail.com.
At the end of the day, love yourself, live with gratitude & be yourself to free yourself.
Love, Courage, Gratitude & Joy
Kara Towner Director of Silver Lining “Empowering you to find freedom in your life”
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